Navigating Cross-Departmental Conflict

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Does healthy conflict change depending on the position of the person you’re engaging with? 

The short version: no. 

Build trust, give the benefit of the doubt, be quick to listen, and slow to get angry-no matter who you’re dealing with.

However, the dynamic can be very different in approaching a peer than the head of another department.

For peer-to-peer opportunities-offer to get lunch, coffee, or some other non-threatening medium and do 2 things: Show up.  Show interest.  Interview vs. interrogate.  Ask questions and take notes.  State on the front end why you’re reaching out.  Make clear the intent of the meeting and articulate your posture of humility. 


You could say something like this: “I know we both want to help XYZ Company grow, and I could use your help.  I’m realizing there’s a lot I need to learn about other departments since we’re all connected in one way or another.  If you’d be up for it, I’d love to ask you a few questions over lunch/coffee sometime soon.” There’s no guarantee they’ll say yes to lunch, but there’s more at stake than your nervousness. 


You might be thinking, “Where does the healthy conflict come in?”  It might not. 


The more conversations I have about potentially contentious situations, the more I realize how limited my perspective is.
A team cannot thrive if there is a lack of honesty, broken trust, or lack of humility.  


You want what’s best for your organization, your peer, and your area of responsibility.  Asking clarifying questions, listening intently, and even possibly disagreeing will bring clarity to both of you.  Once trust with your peer is established, healthy conflict is a natural progression. 


Healthy conflict should often happen between a manager and their employees. This can be for many reasons but primarily because you work so closely together.  Passionate, talented people ask questions like “what if” and “why not?” 

These questions don’t automatically equate to disrespect or mistrust.  As a manager, you must engage in healthy conflict so your people can follow your example. If you do this poorly, then your people will, as well. They are a reflection of your leadership. 

It’s a lot of pressure, but when you mess up, own it and get better.  As a positional leader, you have an opportunity to create a safe place for your subordinates to fail, try stuff, and challenge good ideas to make them great ones.  Do not be flippant in your communication. 


Your words have power. 

They have the potential of being like gold bars when used wisely and like anchors around the neck if used carelessly.  


The executive team is expected to be the best of the best. They are the people the owner has allowed to influence critical aspects of the business. They represent the owner when he or she is not around. It is nearly impossible to have a united front if healthy conflict is not practiced regularly during disagreements with your executive team.


The goal should be to have healthy conflict in every meeting. (Want a different term? Try "Productive Debate." Our EOS Implementor shared that with us.)

That does not mean you manufacture an issue, but it does mean speaking up directly until it’s clear what the expectation is.  Meetings shouldn’t be a waste of time.  If it’s a waste, cancel it.  There’s too much at stake for an executive team to agree so that the meeting can end early. These meetings should be setting the direction for the whole company. 


Strong, confident personalities get things done and usually get their way.  This is why this also has the potential to be the “Clash of Titans.” Healthy conflict can grow and strengthen the executive team if approached as outlined in this eBook. 


It is always best for healthy conflict to be done between the two people involved. Seems obvious, right?  When approaching someone from a different department, it can feel like you’re stepping into a minefield. 


Pride, defensiveness, and territorial feelings are all possibilities lying right below the surface.  


When in doubt, run your plan past your manager before stepping out. If the conversation goes sideways, then a manager should be brought in. Ignoring the issue won’t solve it.

Whenever possible, only involve the people who can help make the situation better. It might feel good to share your frustrations with others, but it will only worsen things. 

Gossip is poison. 

It will kill any momentum you’ve established. 

Now let’s say the issue is not being worked out between you and the other employee, be ready for your supervisor to involve the other employee’s manager. Overcommunicate with your supervisor throughout.  

It’s worse for your boss to be caught off-guard than overprepared.   Most likely, one of three things will happen. 
1. Your manager will instruct you to speak directly to the other department’s manager. 
2. Your manager will handle it on a manager-to-manager level,
3. It’ll be you, the other employee, and your managers sitting down together.

This will depend on how open your company is with staff going to other department managers and the chain of command.

Two “what if” scenarios.  First, what if you’re the supervisor noticing a rift between two of your employees?  Even when trust has been established, navigating this conversation can be tricky.  Keep a few things in mind.

Your perspective differs because of your position: your view is elevated above either employee.  You most likely see more of the relational landscape. 


It’s not your responsibility to make healing happen. 

Present the challenge and let your people rise to where you set the bar.

Second, what if you’re lower in the hierarchy than the person you need to engage with?  Pause.  Do not engage with peers about it. They can’t help you.  Build trust with your direct supervisor.  Check your motives.  Then broach the topic from a place of humility vs. accusation.  This situation can be one of the most difficult to process through, but it is possible. 


I recommend you check out an insightful podcast episode of WorkLife with Adam Grant: The Science of Productive Conflict.  It’s worth a listen or three.

Need more? 

Check out the IOL podcast page to browse over 155 leadership interviews!

Go to our YouTube and LinkedIn pages for more encouraging content.  

We've got you covered if you’re looking to take your growth as a leader to the next level. Join the Impact of Leadership Community today!



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Comfort Kills Growth: Preparing Mentally For Healthy Conflict (script included)
People might say they don’t mind change, but they do.  Most of us mind it a lot.    We like being comfortable, but comfort doesn’t lead to growth.    As you take steps toward introducing healthy conflict in your home or at work, here are 4 things to be mentally prepared for.    Awkwardness  As a leader, you are introducing a new concept.  Remember that most everyone else won’t have a reference point in their minds for it.  Extending grace and kindness are invaluable as people react to this new thing.  Many responses that outwardly look like resistance come from the discomfort of our brains needing to be rewired.  Seriously. Our nervous system consists of neurons (nerve cells) that transmit nerve signals or messages to and from the brain.  According to Psychology Today, “Neuroplasticity underlies the capacity for learning and memory, and it enables mental and behavioral flexibility. Research has firmly established that the brain is a dynamic organ and can change its design throughout life, responding to experience by reorganizing connections—via so-called “wiring” and “rewiring.” Scientists sometimes refer to the process of neuroplasticity as structural remodeling of the brain.”  The good news is that you can retrain or rewire your brain.  The bad news is that it takes work. When you bring healthy conflict to your spouse, friends, or coworkers, remember that you’ve been exercising and training your brain to recognize the discomfort as just being part of the process.  But no one else’s brain knows that.  Their neurons are carrying semi truckloads of information telling them there’s confusion, danger, uncertainty, and discomfort down this road.  This is why it gets awkward.  Most people just can’t help but feel weird about it.  Try not to take it personally.  The awkwardness is worth it.  I promise.   Disappointment  I remember when my boss, Patrick, and I really got serious about pursuing healthy conflict.  We both were excited about what Pat Lencioni had written in his book The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, and we were ready to build a stronger team.  The problem was that we found ourselves fighting old patterns of thought more than anything else.  It was disappointing.  It was also part of the process.  It takes 60 days (or more) of practice to really get into a habit of having healthy conflict as part of your routine.   As I found out, you can mess up a lot of conversations in 60 days if you’re not careful.    Patience is a virtue in this process. We’ve found that disappointment comes in several forms.  Negative self-talk can easily happen, especially when group participation is taking longer than expected.  Beware of thoughts like, “I’m alone in this” popping up.  Frustration can also build in other ways. Perhaps a positional leader in your company just won’t lean into the process.  There is also the disappointment that comes when everyone else in the room is having a Tony Robbins-type breakthrough and you aren’t.  People are people.  You can’t control what they do or how they feel.  Listen to them, empathize, reinforce the ‘why’, and keep stepping forward.    Assumptions Good or bad, the experiences from our past shape our worldview.  These assumptions will inevitably be tagging along with everyone in the room.  Including you. Whether it’s “here we go again”, “I’m just not the type that opens up”, “this is exactly what we need” or 100 others—assumptions will be present. Knowing assumptions are present is critical.  Calling them out to the group at the beginning is where the power lies. You don’t have to be controlled by your preconceived notions.  However, many will feel stuck, even if they don’t articulate it.  Their outward resistance is a symptom of the inward battle.  “I’ve seen this before; it doesn’t end well for me” is a common reaction from people who have been burned by showing vulnerability.  “I’m just not wired that way” is what you’ll often hear from strong personalities.  “I’ve done fine without it so far” is what most smart, successful people think to themselves.  There’s another option.  None of us are stuck.  Even when it feels that way.  In section 6 of our eBook, you’ll find a scrip.  Take this script and make it your own. It will help bring everyone to a common starting position.  Assumptions and all. As gently as I can put it: No one gets to opt-out of this.  Your prior experiences, personality, and success are all real.  None of that gives you a pass on healthy conflict though.   Surprises Guaranteed, you will be surprised in the process of adopting healthy conflict into your leadership.  Right when you think someone will never, ever take a posture of humility--they apologize and speak directly about their misstep.  The other side to that coin are the territorial responses from seemingly non-territorial people.  As my pastor Mike Bullmore says; “People are like cups.  If they get bumped hard enough, you’ll see what’s inside.” Those surprisingly territorial people probably haven’t been bumped in a while.  And you just bumped them big time.    When it happens, encourage the person to stay there.  Label what you’re seeing.  Such as: “it seems like you’re feeling ___”, and let them correct or agree with you.  Ask open-ended questions to draw the person out:  “Tell me about…,” “Help me understand…,”.  Or encouraging statements like: “I’m with you.  Keep going with that last thing you said.”   Balance, awareness, and finesse are required here.  Not perfection.  Think interview vs. interrogation. 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