Impact of Leadership

Responding To The Heat

  2. Share
PATRICK BOOTH PATRICK BOOTH
0 0

Recently my wife and I have been in a small group learning how the “HEAT” can really impact all of us when it occurs. This was the first time I heard the word “HEAT” being used to categorize the stress and uncomfortableness moments that happen in life. It is when the pressure makes us feel squeezed in life. Steve Scherer, IOL Podcast Host & VP, has described it as getting bumped when holding a cup. What comes out of your cup when you get bumped? How can we handle the uncomfortable, difficult, and awkward moments in life/work when it happens? I have four words that I am hoping can help all us.

 

Assess.

Attitude.

Actions.

Accountability.

 

Assess

This can be really hard to do when the uncomfortable moments happen because often, we feel like the victim. It could be an employee who is not trying hard in their job or making lots of mistakes. It could be a bad boss who is attacking your character as an employee. It could be a teenager who doesn’t want a relationship with you as a parent or always argues with you. It could be a health/financial issue or a broken marriage that is suffocating you because of the emotional weight. Whatever “HEAT” that is pouring onto you is real and I’m sorry you are having to go through it. I often ask, “WHY?! Why is this happening to me?!” It’s a valid question to ask. I’m thankful to have people in my life who have helped encourage me to love on me during these difficult times. They also have given me great insights on how I can use this uncomfortable circumstance to help encourage others that will face the same situation at another time. I also want to be sure I can keep my focus on controlling what I can. If I wake up, it’s a new day to try my best to fight through the hardships. It’s an opportunity to grow by learning how to work through the difficult situation. I am not at all saying it is easy or pleasant. I believe everything happens for a reason even when it’s not your fault. I can’t see the big picture on why the “HEAT” is happening. All I can do is try to not lose who I am during it. I still want to be someone that can smile, laugh and encourage others even when I’m struggling. The only way I can do this is by knowing there is a bigger plan for life that is out of my control.

 

Attitude

It’s my confession time to tell you that I really struggle with this one. It’s so hard to stay positive when the “HEAT” is burning me up. I literally get super cranky when it’s hot outside. I can say honestly that I also get cranky when the emotional heat turns up on me. Over the years I have had several friends in business help show me how to handle the stress with a positive attitude. There is a movie called Remember The Titans with Denzel Washington. It is a football movie that brings White and African American players as the first racially integrated team in the in 1970’s of Virginia. It was difficult time for the coaches and players to come together and respect each other. There is a scene where two captains must work together. They are challenging each other about effort. It comes out that some of the other players aren’t blocking because they don’t want to see players of opposite color being successful. No one is holding the team accountable, so players are looking out for themselves. One captain challenge that kind of attitude and the response is piercing when he says, “Attitude reflects leadership, Captain.” What does this mean? A leader holds others accountable even during difficult times. You find a way to rise above the situation. Others are watching and their attitude will follow the attitude of a leader. When the “HEAT” is being poured out, be sure you keep your attitude positive so you can help others get through it with you.

 

Actions

This is not easy as I have already confessed my own struggles. Here are some suggestions to help you stay positive…

  1. Surround yourself with positive people
  2. Fill your mind with positive thoughts (songs, podcasts, sermons, books, scripture, etc.)
  3. Control your language
  4. Show kindness to others
  5. Thank someone and watch them light up
  6. See the beauty in life and focus on the good
  7. Write positive notes that you can see daily
  8. Make your bed and know you accomplished something

 

Why is surrounding yourself with positive people important? The advice you are getting told can truly impact your attitude. It’s good to have people that protect your thoughts. It’s easy to be emotional but you need people who will help you process the situation with logic. Be sure you have the right people who can help you see the big picture not just the moment. They are people who have seen you overcome other obstacles in life. They know how to encourage you to not quit but find a solution to the problem.

 

Filling your mind with positive thoughts can come from many things like songs, podcasts, sermons, books, scriptures, etc. I am a person who loves listening to music and watching movies when I am struggling. It fills my mind with encouragement and positive thoughts. My wife loves sermons and her quiet time in the scriptures. I have friends who listen to podcasts to learn from others which lifts their minds to a positive place. Be sure you find the right content to fill your mind with positive thoughts so you can conquer the problems with strength. I am not saying your problems will go away. All I am saying is that I would rather go through the problems with some positive thoughts, so I am not drowning with heaviness of the issues.

 

Controlling your language is not just about avoiding curse words. It’s about not having negative words come out of your mouth that can make the difficult situation even worse. Words are like toothpaste, once it comes out, you aren’t getting it back into the tube. Our words can destroy and lift others up. Please be careful with how you use your words especially when the “HEAT” is being turned up on you. I know venting can be a way to process as I do it often. Be sure to attack the problem not the people around you. I’ve been guilty of doing this wrong so many times. My goal is help you be better than me!

 

Taking time to smile at someone or show them kindness is a wonderful gift. Feed someone’s soul with positive words and watch them bloom in the moment. Sometimes you will heal by watching someone else win and you can help influence that moment to happen. We all have bad days and hardships, but don’t that stop you from being a positive influence for someone. Say the words “Good Morning! Thank you! I appreciate you!” to someone in the store and watch what happens. Let your positive light shine for the world to see!

 

Take a walk in the woods, by the lake or in your neighborhood. Take time to inhale the outdoor air and fill your lungs. You are living and it’s a gift. Life is so short, and I know it’s hard to take time to slow down. Try to find a moment outside, listen to the birds chirping and let the air fill your soul. Take a moment to not focus on the negative but all the good in the world that we often miss. I love watching my dog ride with me as her head is out the window. She is enjoying the moment with pure joy. Can I find a moment in my life with pure joy? Take the noise away and try to find a quiet moment to take in the beauty of the world.

 

Taking time to write positive words and notes for you is so important. It can help you focus on the right words instead of letting the negative moment take over. I have two pictures in my office that I chose to put around me so I can find encouragement in the hard moments. The first picture is behind my desk. It is the quote from Rocky V…

             

  “The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place, and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done.”

 

The other picture is across my desk with the quotes from Winston Churchill…

               “Success is not final. Failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts.”

               “Never, never, never give up.”

               “A pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. An optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”

               “We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.”

 

I put words of encouragement in my dad’s room as he recovers from his spinal cord injury. The two phrases he loves is “I AM Willing!” and “I Can Do It!” Whatever your words, phrases or quotes are that help you stay positive, put them around you so they are front of mind. Don’t let the negative thoughts take over. Fight back with positive thoughts!

 

You might find this last one silly, but I find it helpful to me. Make your bed and be happy you got something accomplished. It’s a great way to start and end your day. By doing this one simple intentional act will give you confidence that you can control your day. You had a goal and accomplished it. When you come home at night you are reminded of what you accomplished today. You can find encouragement before you end your day knowing that “ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!”

 

Accountability

Having someone or a group to talk about your problems is so important. It gives you a place to speak freely and help express the “HEAT” with someone else. Keeping inside and alone can be destructive. I have found over the years that many struggle with the same things, but I had no idea. I say this with my heart “You are a fighter! You can do it! Don’t give up!” We are doing this leadership thing together because we all need support and encouragement. I know life is hard and the “HEAT” is hot. It’s smothering and overwhelming at times. Please reach out to us or someone so you can go through the trials with a partner. We were created to help support and love each other.

 

NEED MORE? 

Check out the IOL Community Groups to connect with like-minded leaders!

Go to our YouTube and LinkedIn pages for more encouraging content.  

We’ve got over 100 podcasts to aid in your growth as a leader!

 

Community tags

This content has 0 tags that match your profile.

Goals & Challenges

Personal & Professional Growth
Mental Health

Comments

To leave a comment, login or sign up.

Related Content

0
Happy New Year. Now Fire Yourself!
My dad taught me that it’s important to fire yourself at the end of the year, wait 10 seconds, soak up that horrible feeling, and then rehire yourself. Why in the world would my dad tell me to do this each year?   Give yourself a scare and new outlook. It’s better to pretend to fire yourself before it happens for real. Now strategize! What would you do differently if you were fired and rehired for the same job? You can’t grow to greater success if you don’t look at your failures and change them.   Yes, my dad could have been a Jedi Knight because he motivated himself and others through mind games. Most of those mind games made him and others extremely successful. I thought he was crazy when I was younger. Now I try to do everything he taught me.   It’s better to pretend to fire yourself before it happens for real.   When people get comfortable, they can become lazy, which can lead to poor results. Poor results can eventually lead to one being fired. Don’t wait for that awkward and regrettable moment. I’ve never met anyone that enjoys losing. Go ahead and make that awkward firing moment happen on your terms. Write yourself a termination letter and put reasons behind it. Punch yourself in the gut(words not literally) and make it hurt so you can learn.   What would you do differently if you were fired and rehired for the same job?   It’s so important to motivate yourself to think about new strategies to prevent becoming comfortable. You want to drive in better results every year, but you don’t change anything. How is that working for you? Nothing changes if nothing changes! If you had a record-breaking year…good for you…now get over it. No one cares what you did yesterday, last year, or five years ago. Business is about what you produce month-over-month and year-over-year. People don’t get fired because they are growing. People get fired when they get lazy or stop taking initiative to learn. How can you continue to push yourself to prove to everyone you are not playing it safe? What must you do to grow your success?   ACTION ITEM: Take 15 minutes and make a strategic list. Make sure you put these strategies into practice by putting each one on your calendar.   You can’t grow to greater success if you don’t look at your failures and change them.   No Time Management Your day is chaos. You feel no control in your day. You feel like nothing ever gets done that you want. Poor Communication You hold people to expectations that you did not share with them. People don’t live in your head. Use your words! No routine Schedule your work duties, and don’t get distracted. Give yourself time to think. Make sure to take PTO and recharge your batteries. Boring Meetings No one is excited to be there. No conflict. Watching the minutes for it to end. Talk Too Much – Poor Listening Don’t dominate the conversation. Make sure you shut your mouth and open your ears to hear what others have to say. Show respect to others by listening. Too Many Excuses For Missing Deadlines Nothing is worse than a boss demanding deadlines but the boss lives by double standards. Get your work finished on time. Set the bar with your actions. No Humility Say the words “I’m sorry!” and “It’s my fault!” No one wants to follow a leader who is arrogant and full of pride. Lack of Passion Zap your heart and get excited about your work. No one wants to follow someone who is lukewarm or passive. No Accountability You need someone who will speak TRUTH into you. Make sure to ask others how you are doing and listen to their advice. Broken Trust With Failed Promises Let your YES be YES and your NO be NO. Follow through on your commitments, and show up in mind, body and spirit when you arrive. Need more?  Book us to speak at your next event, and we’ll light it up! Check out our YouTube and LinkedIn pages for more encouraging content.   If you’re looking to take your growth as a leader to the next level, we’ve got you covered. Join the Impact of Leadership Community today!
0
Three Poor Leadership Traits
Lets be real. No filters. No BS.   Three Poor Leadership Traits that I have done and really messed up:   Lack of emotional intelligence   Strong passiveness   Being too nice   Lack of emotional intelligence:   Are you able to see how your team views you as a leader? Are you present when your team needs you? Are you disappearing at stressful times? Are you faking how much you care? Are you a good listener? Do you ever stop talking so they can talk? How are you handling conflict?   I have messed this up a lot in my career. I have shot something off the hip when I was feeling something. OMG….FEELINGS!!! Feelings should not be leading you. When you are frustrated, don’t say comments that will destroy relationships.     Your words are like gold in your people’s heart or an anchor around their neck.     How does your team view you? You have to ask your team if you really want to know. Where do I fail? Where do I lead well? How can I improve?   Do a review where they can give you feedback. You have to really invite the conversation; you have to be ready to hear. Enter the conversation with the desire to LEARN!   Another trait of emotional intelligence is empathy: People can tell when you are faking your focus. When someone is telling you story, don’t stay on your laptop, checking email and say “Mmm hmmm.” When you are not making eye contact, the other person doesn't know you if you are listening. Take time to show true empathy with your people.   Be willing to listen them. God has given us two ears and one mouth.   Handling conflict. Be firm and loving. Don't avoid awkward situations or conversations that need to happen. Not saying anything is just as bad.   Story:  I am going to motivate an employee and lite a fight under the employee. I lit a fire and quit. MY words drove this person to quit. It wasn't good that I caused this kind of problem. The leader came back and said, "What happened in that lunch?" I didn’t know. I wanted to motivate the employee. I did!!! He was motivated to find a new job. Yikes!   Your words are like gold or an anchor around someone's neck.   Choose your words wisely!   Strong Passiveness: I've avoided conflict, accountability, firing people, and speaking directly to the people involved. If you go to others that can’t fix the problem then that is gossip.   Stop ignoring the issue. You know there is a problem, and you aren't talking about it. People need to understand what you expect of them, safe bondaries and deadlines. You don't want to be passive and give poor instructions.   Avoiding firing is not good.  Yes, firing someone does feel bad. It should as these are people you hired. Don’t do what I did which was put people in other positions trying to avoid the firing. I knew it was not  a good fit but I didn't want to fire the person. When someone is not a good fit, act!   Avoiding speaking to people directly but telling others. That is gossip. I have expressed and vented to someone that has no power to fix the problem. Stop being passive. Go to that person directly. Don't tell everyone and never that person. Be kind, honest and direct.   People can't read your mind or heart.   Being too nice:   If people don't understand your position a manager - people see you are a friend. Inappropriate things are said about other departments. People come venting to you. I was a younger leader. I should have been better to say, "don’t come to me. You need to tell your manager." It was blurry for employees.   There must be clear boundaries. Functional trust and boundaries are important.   Patrick Lencioni’s book The Five Dysfunctions of A Team is an awesome book. We have done it has a team and it was important to understand why each one needs to be present. Our team loves each other but we still have areas we need to work on.   Nothing changes if nothing changes.   I share this because I want you to be better than me.   No one drifts into excellence.   NEED MORE? Read about the resources I tapped into when preparing for a leadership role Check out our YouTube and LinkedIn pages for more encouraging content.   Are you a new leader? Been leading for a long time?   Over two decades of people facing problems.
Impact of Leadership
Powered by Cause Machine. All rights reserved.