You Control the Car

Leading Through Change       In March of 2020, I boarded a plane to Florida, six months pregnant and toting two toddlers. We were going to see my parents and spend a couple days in the sun, away from the doldrums of the gray winter of the North. A few days later, I sat on the porch with my parents, in the light of the Floridian sunset, discussing whether I could make it back home to my husband before the world supposedly shut down. I remember laughing thinking, the world shut down? Eye roll.   Later that night, my husband called me from Costco in the middle of a frenzy of shoppers, asking if he should stock up on paper towel and toilet paper. Again, I thought, this is madness. It’ll all blow over. The next day, we boarded our flight back home and landed without a hitch. The day after that, all flights were cancelled. I had beaten the lockdown by one day.   We all know what happened next. Complete disruption of our plans. Life came to a screeching halt. We found ourselves in the middle of one of the biggest seasons of change our country had seen in almost a decade.   Some of us adapted well, happily setting up home offices, embracing our returned college-students, and introverting like no introvert has ever introverted before. In contrast, some of us (me) went berserk with every new cancellation—church, school, all social plans—spent long hours yelling back and forth across the yard to the neighbors instead, and frequented any grocery store that was open just to be around other people.   We all adapted, whether we liked it or not. And we will likely have to adapt to unexpected changes again in the future. So, how do we do it well? And how do we lead others through it?   Most people don’t adapt well. It’s natural to face changes with fear and even anger. Grant Buenger, the Executive Director of Racine Habitat for Humanity, has led his organization through many changes in the last three years—new staffing models, large scale growth, and changes in brick-and-mortar space. Over time, he has discovered the key to leading well through change is fostering adaptability within a team by keeping the mission at the forefront.   Buenger cites a story from Tod Bolsinger’s book, Canoeing the Mountains. Lewis and Clark, the great explorers, were heading west. They figured they could make it all the way across the United States to the Pacific Ocean by taking waterways and using their canoes. That is, until they hit the Rocky Mountains and their expedition quickly came to a grinding halt. Instead of giving up their quest, they decided to trade their canoes for horses and continue the journey until they found water again. Eventually, they hit the Gold Coast as planned. They didn’t let the unexpected topographical shift keep them from achieving their mission, they simply adapted their strategy and continued. They weren’t so committed to their canoes that they decided to stop in Colorado and call it a day. Instead, they adjusted, adapted and achieved.   So how do we, as leaders, “Lewis and Clark” our way through Covid? Or inflation? Or policy changes? How do we build teams that respond well to these changes and many more that are sure to come?   Here are a few ways to help foster adaptability within your team:   Speak the Mission Aloud and Speak it Frequently: Say what you do, say it often.  Make sure it’s clear. We build homes, we provide great service, we make IT easy to understand. Speak this in meetings, write it on the wall, make sure everyone on your team repeats it when you ask them what you do. It’s the bigger reason behind the daily work. It’s what drives passion and unites a team.   Create Trust Among the Team: When changes happen, people look to others for help. If they trust their leadership and their teammates, they’re more likely to feel supported. This will help them adapt well to the change. In some cases, enduring trials and adapting can even make a team stronger.   Model adaptability. If you let fear and uncertainty grip you when unexpected changes occur, how will you expect your team to adapt well? You must remember the mission, you must chart new courses, trade the canoes and shift when necessary.   Go slower than you think. Accepting change can take time. I am a prime example. My family and I relocated back to our hometown 3 ½ years ago and I’m just now able to say that I’m settling in and accepting my new surroundings. It’ll just take more time than you think. The Rockies gave Lewis and Clark pause and they couldn’t procure horses within an evening. They had to understand what they were facing, how to face it and, acquire what they needed and then continue on. Give yourself and your team time and space to process the change, create a plan and then continue on.   While I would not have wished the year 2020 on anyone, I will say that I’m much more resilient and adaptable because of it. While I admitted above and will say it again, I did NOT adapt quickly or well to the changes at first, I can look back with pride and say that I continued to find new courses and new ways to accomplish the things that needed accomplishing and dare I say that, after a few months in, I was able to feel mentally, physically and emotionally healthy once again.   While adapt or die might sound a little strong, it’s the truth. Which will it be? ###   This blog post is loosely based on the IOL Podcast #147 Building Hope and Transformational Leadership with Grant Buenger.   Written by Ashley Buenger (Yep, they are a dynamic duo!)      

Overcoming Fear While on a plane from Denver to Milwaukee, I had the pleasure of watching the movie King Richard, the story of Venus and Serena Williams who both became world champion tennis players thanks to the perseverance and tenacity of their father. He dreamt of their success when they were young and pushed them to colossal heights never reached by any other female athlete.   I was astounded by Richard’s faith in his vision for his daughters and his willingness to sacrifice his time, energy and reputation to see it come to fruition. Nothing could stop him, not poverty, critics, lack of education or even reports of abuse that were untrue. As we all know, his dream became a reality.   Not long after that, I began listening to the autobiography of Bethany Hamilton, a professional surfer whose left arm was eaten by a tiger shark when she was a teenager. Within a year of her accident, she was on her board again and winning competitions. She even says that she wouldn’t change the accident if she could. Her perseverance and desire to pursue her dream despite major setbacks is truly remarkable and inspiring.   Both these stories are examples of the seemingly impossible, becoming possible. These are ordinary people with extraordinary ability to fight fear. Had Richard been afraid of failure, or being laughed at by others, he would not have succeeded. Had Bethany been afraid of sharks or what people would say about her, she would not have gotten back in the water.   Fear keeps the impossible from being possible. It keeps us in the same place, too paralyzed to move forward, too paralyzed to overcome trials. However, without fear, the impossible is always possible. I keep coming back to Richard and Bethany. They persevered, didn’t let fear take hold, and they achieved what they had set out to do, no matter how impossible it seemed.   So, do they have a special sauce? Do they have tricks or magic or a particular chromosome that most of us don’t? Nope. Is this something that any of us can do? Yup. Is it easy? Nope. But, if you happen to have a dream—to build a business, to lose weight, to write a novel, to travel the world finding and eating the best cuisine, to climb mountains, whatever it is—I would put money on the fact that once you face down your fear, you will do it.   Here's a couple tips on how to start going about doing that:   Recognize your God-given passion and skills. This one needs a lot of prayer. I, for one, struggle with identifying this. What is my one passion? I want to do LOTS of things, so sometimes I sit doing nothing because I simply can’t choose. Should I write a book or start a Youtube channel or become a life coach or maybe purchase and run a business? Truth is, I could do any of that, but when someone asks me about that intersection where my passion meets my skill set, I know what my dream is. Sometimes, I’m just too scared to admit it because if I pursue that dream, couldn’t I fail? Which leads to the next point.   Identify the fear. You don’t have to face it yet. Just start calling it out. Fear can wear many faces. It’s sneaky. It shows up in the form of greed or a scarcity mentality. I couldn’t possibly do that, I don’t have enough money. It can show up in isolation or loneliness. I won’t talk about my dreams because others will think I’m crazy or laugh at me.   Recently I lashed out at my husband regarding something he said. I heard something he didn’t actually say and responded to my fear instead. The areas in your life where you feel tension, those are the places to look at first. When you have anxiety, anger, frustration, or irritation—are you actually feeling fear? Are you actually letting fear win?   Trust that it’s going to be ok. Now you must work. Once you identify the fear, you now need to choose to trust that it’s going to be ok. If someone reams you out on social media, you lose the money, your business doesn’t grow for a year, or your worst fears come true like you get half eaten by a shark, trust that even then, life goes on, it’s all going to be ok. You can always keep going, despite rhyme or reason or others telling you can’t, you can.   Practice talking back to the fear each time it crops up. Each time you feel its slippery wet claws creeping up your neck, you talk back to it. You say, “No, you’re not real. No matter what you say, or what could happen, I’m going to succeed, no matter what.” Keep doing this, and it’ll get easier, I promise.   Choose what you listen to. Now that you are on track to fulfilling your dreams, now that you have identified those voices of fear in your life and started talking back to them, you need to keep fighting for it. Fear is relentless and the devil is good at cloaking lies that are designed to make you afraid. News cycles, “the economy will tank”, other people’s fears, “what’s this world coming to?”, or social media influencers, “you can’t have what you want, unless you buy this thing.” All lies. Be aware of your influences and who you are surrounding yourself with. Don’t spend more time listening to the negative voices than the positive ones.   Do it. This is my favorite piece of advice. It’s so simple and yet so challenging. Stop talking about the thing you want to do, stop thinking about it, stop pining after it or writing about it in your journal. Just do it. You have fought the voices, you are punching fear in the face, now you just need to show up and play tennis, surf, write your novel, design those shoes or be a great mom. Just do it. And freaking have the best time doing it.   It's not a perfect formula. I don’t know what is. But I know that there’s something here. I know that God created us in his image and as a result, we have greatness within us. The stories around us remind us of this. The stories of Richard and Bethany and many other inspiring activists, athletes, writers, singers, designers, builders and more-- are real and they showcase that the seemingly impossible is actually possible. Let that inspire you because it can be you who achieves a dream. It really can.   Written by Ashley Buenger